And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6: 12-15

Forgiveness is tough. It is tough because of the offense which forces its need. It is tough because of an offender who is casual and callous about what he or she has done. It is tough because the one offended cannot easily let go of the pain and hurt which they have suffered. These are some of the very reasons why grudges, feuds and conflicts can literally continue for generations.

What many people fail to acknowledge, though, is that the refusal to forgive not only withholds something from the one who has wronged them. It also withholds something from them. Notice these things about forgiveness:

1). Forgiveness releases both the offender and the offended. When a person decides to forgive another, they release that person from the anger and hatred aimed towards them. At the same time, they release themselves from the psychological stress and energy tied up in holding those negative feelings against the other. In a strange way, forgiveness does not condone what a person has done, nor does it let the other person off of the hook. If you forgive, it lets you off the hook and allows you to go on with your life. 2). Forgiveness does not have to be two way. Since forgiveness brings benefit to the one who does the forgiving, you do not have to wait until the one who has offended you forgives you or even accepts your forgiveness. The one who has committed the wrong may still be upset and unforgiving, but once you extend your sincere forgiveness to them, it is up to them to accept that forgiveness and, if necessary, offer theirs in return. Either way, you can break the chain and cycle single handedly. 3). Forgiveness has eternal consequences. According to this model prayer of the Master quoted above, we are forgiven by God to the degree that we forgive others. If, therefore, we are not willing to forgive others who wrong us, how can we dare to ask God to forgive us when we wrong and disobey Him?

As we said at the beginning, forgiveness is tough. Still, decide to forgive today, if not for the offender’s sake, for your sake and for Christ’s sake.