“And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.” – Genesis 16: 3

Hagar was not Abraham’s chick on the side. She was not his mistress. She was not his secret lover. She was his wife. Sarah did not simply give her to him to be his toy. She gave her to him to be his wife. Abraham did not marry her because she was pregnant. He married her in order to get her pregnant. Therefore, when Ishmael was born, he was not an “illegitimate child.” His parents were duly, officially and legally married.

Yet, one of the multiple reasons that Hagar’s marriage to Abraham did not last is because, although their son Ishmael was not “born out of wedlock,” he was “born out of love lock.” The marriage between Abraham and Hagar was not really a marriage. It was an arrangement. It was practical. It was contractual. It was business. It was a quid pro quo.

Honestly, no one would be surprised if we learned that while working in his house, Hagar secretly dreamed of being with him and taking Sarah’s place as the lady of the house. Nor, would anyone be surprised if, even only for a second, Abraham occasionally found himself casting a lustful glance at her. (After all, he did agree to Sarah’s proposal mighty quickly!) Still, as far as we can tell, there was never any love between them. In other words, they got married. They had a baby. But, they were never in love.

From this we are forced to face the fact that the legal bonds of matrimony are not personally or emotionally as strong as the bonds of love. A true bond of love between two parents is strong enough to stand the tests of time, endure the challenges of parenthood and fend off threats to a marriage from without and within.Every child deserves to be conceived and born in love lock, even if not in wedlock. For, the  security and surety of such love lays the foundation for him or her having a better chance at life.